How to Love Your Enemies

Loving your enemies is one of the most difficult commands Jesus gave us. It goes against our natural instincts to protect ourselves and seek justice. But it’s also one of the most transformative acts of faith a believer can practice.

In Matthew 5:44, Jesus said, “But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you” It’s a powerful directive, but how do we actually live this out in our everyday lives?

To be honest, it's easier said than done.

This post explores practical, biblical ways to love your enemies, not with lofty ideals, but with honest, doable steps rooted in Scripture and grace.

1. Understand What Jesus Meant by “Love”

Loving your enemies doesn’t mean agreeing with their actions, nor does it mean subjecting yourself to abuse. The kind of love Jesus speaks of is agape meaning unconditional, sacrificial love that seeks the good of others even when it’s hard.

It’s the kind of love God shows us every day.

Romans 5:10 says, “For if when we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.”

When we understand that we were once enemies of God, yet still loved and forgiven, we can start to extend that same grace to others.

2. Pray for Them, Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

Prayer softens your heart and opens your spirit to healing. Start small. You don’t need to pray long, elaborate prayers. Say something honest like, “God, I don’t understand them, but help me see them the way You do.”

Praying for your enemies may not change them, but it will change you.

Luke 6:28 – “Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you.”

3. Let Go of the Need for Revenge

It’s natural to want justice, especially when you've been hurt. But revenge keeps your heart bound to the offense. Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened, it frees you from the grip of bitterness.

Romans 12:19 – “Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written: ‘Vengeance is Mine; I will repay,’ says the Lord.”

When you release the burden of revenge to God, you make space for healing to begin.

4. Speak and Act with Kindness

Kindness doesn’t mean weakness. In fact, responding to hate with grace takes incredible strength. Even small acts like choosing not to gossip, offering a kind word, or extending a helping hand, can reflect God’s love in powerful ways.

Proverbs 25:21-22 – “If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink.”

These acts of kindness reflect the radical love of Christ and break the cycle of hostility.

5. Set Healthy Boundaries

Loving your enemies doesn’t mean putting yourself in harm’s way. Jesus often walked away from those who wanted to harm Him. Love includes wisdom and discernment.

Forgiveness can coexist with boundaries. You can wish someone well, pray for them, and still protect your peace.

6. Remember: Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling

You may never “feel” love toward someone who hurt you. That’s okay. Love is not always about emotions, it’s about decisions.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, and is not puffed up..”

When you choose to act in love; whether through forgiveness, prayer, or kindness always remember that you are fulfilling Christ’s call in a deep and holy way.

7. Reflect God’s Character

Ultimately, when you love your enemies, you mirror the very heart of God. The world expects retaliation, but love surprises people. It creates room for redemption, reconciliation, and peace.

Matthew 5:45 – “That you may be sons of your Father in heaven. For He makes His sun to rise on the evil and the good...”

When you love your enemies, you’re living out your identity as a child of God.

Conclusion

Loving your enemies isn’t easy. It may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. But it is also one of the most Christlike. By choosing love over hate, forgiveness over revenge, and peace over anger, you are showing the world the power of God's love.

Let love be your legacy, even toward those who least deserve it.

Colossians 3:13 – “Bear with each other and forgive one another... Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”