How to Forgive Those Who Offend You

Let’s be honest, forgiveness can feel impossible when someone deeply offends or betrays us. Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or even someone in your church community, the pain can leave lasting wounds. And yet, God gently calls us to do something radical: forgive, and that sounds crazy, if we're being real.

But what does 'forgiveness' actually look like? And how do you forgive someone who doesn’t say sorry or even acknowledge their offense?

The good news is, the Bible gives us clear guidance and more importantly, God gives us the grace to walk it out. Forgiveness is less about what the other person deserves and more about the freedom God wants for you.

Here’s a biblical, compassionate guide to help you forgive those who have offended you and begin your journey toward healing.

1. Acknowledge the Hurt

You can’t heal from what you won’t name. Forgiveness begins with being honest about your pain. Maybe you were lied to, betrayed, excluded, or misunderstood. Don’t pretend it didn’t affect you. Acknowledge it.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)

God isn’t asking you to ignore your feelings. He’s inviting you to bring them into the light. This is where healing begins.

2. Understand What Forgiveness Is (and isn’t)

Forgiveness is not saying the offense was okay. It’s not excusing bad behavior, and it doesn’t always mean reconciliation.

Instead, forgiveness is:

• Letting go of your right to revenge

• Releasing the offender into God's hands

• Choosing peace over bitterness

“And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NKJV)

Forgiveness doesn’t minimize the hurt. It maximizes the grace of God in your life.

3. Pray Even if It’s Hard

One of the most transformational steps in forgiving someone is praying for them. Not because they deserve it, but because it shifts your heart toward freedom.

Even if your first prayer is, “Lord, help me to want to forgive,” that’s a powerful start.

“But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you… and pray for those who spitefully use you.” – Matthew 5:44 (NKJV)

Prayer is how you release your grip on anger and let God take over.

4. Set Healthy Boundaries

Forgiveness doesn’t mean allowing repeated harm. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is forgive and set a firm boundary.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” – Proverbs 4:23 (NKJV)

Boundaries protect what God is healing. You can forgive someone fully and still decide not to give them the same access to your life. It's not that you haven't forgiven them, you're just protecting yourself from letting it happen again.

5. Forgive Daily, Not Just Once

Forgiveness is often not a one-time act, but a daily choice, especially when the offense is deep.

You might feel free one day and triggered the next. That doesn’t mean you failed, it means you’re human. Keep giving it to God, as many times as it takes.

“Then Peter came to Him and said, ‘Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?’
Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.’” – Matthew 18:21–22 (NKJV)

God is patient with you. Be patient with yourself, too.

6. Trust God with the Outcome

One of the hardest parts of forgiveness is letting go of the need for justice or closure. But you don’t have to carry that burden, God will handle it.

“Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19 (NKJV)

Your job is obedience. God’s job is justice.

7. Choose Peace and Walk in Freedom

When you forgive, you’re not saying the offense didn’t hurt. You’re saying it no longer has power over your life. You’re choosing peace over pain, and healing over hatred.

God doesn’t call you to forgive in your own strength. He gives you the Holy Spirit to help you every step of the way.

If you're struggling with forgiveness, pray this prayer:

“Lord, I bring You my pain. You see what they did, and how deeply it hurt. I don’t want to carry bitterness anymore. Help me to forgive, not in my own strength, but through Your grace. Heal my heart and free my spirit. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”

Conclusion

Forgiveness is not easy, but it is worth it.
It sets your soul free. It opens the door to healing. And it allows you to walk in the peace that Jesus died to give you.

If you're struggling, remember: You’re not alone. God is with you. And with Him, forgiveness is possible.

If you found this post helpful, don't forget to share with one or two people.